How to Really Annoy a Nurse/Doctor

[Christine]

1. Always tell your nurse/doctor that your vital signs run different than everyone else's normal.

2. Start your conversation with "This is rediculous".

3. Ask them for coffee, water, food when you first meet them.

4. Tell them your pain is 10 of 10 while you're talking and laughing with your friends, talking on your cell phone, or busy watching television.

5. Come in right after smoking your brains out and say you're sick, or just as bad, ask them if you "can go out to smoke" as if it's a good thing.

6. Come in after not bathing for several days, weeks and ask what is wrong.

7. Demand to have another nurse/doctor.

8. Never say thank you, or please.

9. Ignore the nurses questions just because you would rather talk to the doctor.

10. Insist on seeing a medical doctor and not a PA/NP for a sore throat, ear ache, ankle injury, wrist sprain ...

11. Pee just before you arrive, or while in the waiting room when you know they will want a urine test. (abdominal/flank pain, urinary frequency, fever)

12. Tell them how much you "Hate this hospital" "Hate a certain doctor" or "I should have gone somewhere else".

13. "Ask them: Why do I have to take off my clothes?"

[Dr. Natalie Pasteur]

-Lie to the surgeon before she does your surgery and has your life in her hands.

-Get mad when you don't get what you want from your doctor and tell them they are worthless

-Ask for all the miracles a doctor can give you but refuse to pay even a part of the medical bill then complain about the food or service.

[Ben]

Walk through the front door and as soon as you get in bed, say that you need to use a bed pan because you're too weak to walk.

That happens to me on a weekly basis in the ER.